Welcome Violet, Welcome Harvey! Thanks for stopping by!
Bessie been a team?
My pa introduced me to Bessie back when I was knee high to a prairie dog. Until I was about thirteen, the old gal’s kick would knock me on my ass. Hell, I almost bit off my tongue one day while shootin’ at a pissed off porcupine back yonder behind the barn. Then I got some meat on my bones and could finally shoot and stay on my feet. Ol’ Bessie has been sleepin’ by my bed ever since, but with those Slagton whangdoodles roaming the hills in back of my ranch more and more over the last year, she now rests on the pillow next to me.
I’m not sure how much you know about Natalie and me, but I met her when we were little kids. Her cousins were my neighbors, and when she’d come down to spend the night with them, we’d all play together. Since Nat and I were the same age, we gravitated toward each other and were soon best friends. Around the time I turned eight, my Aunt Zoe moved back up to Deadwood in her parent’s house and started her own glass gallery. She invited Natalie and me to come up and spend the weekend, but Natalie could only come if her little brother came along—something about her parents having to go out of town and wanting both kids to stay together. So, Nat’s little brother tagged along, and he brought his brand new Daisy BB gun that Nat’s grandpa had gotten for him for his sixth birthday. To make a long story short, Natalie had the not-so-brilliant idea of re-enacting the Battle of Little Bighorn, which she’d recently learned about in school, in Aunt Zoe’s backyard. Her little brother insisted on being Custer, so she played Sitting Bull and I was Crazy Horse. Unbeknownst to us, Lil’ Custer had loaded his weapon with BB’s, which we quickly learned after the battle commenced. We both ran for cover as the BB’s flew, but I was slower than Natalie and Lil’ Custer was a quick shot. Needless to say, my backside got peppered with BBs that day, and Lil’ Custer’s backside got in big trouble with Aunt Zoe and then later with Nat’s parents.
The next few are directed to both of you.
What was the most dangerous thing you've done?
Harvey: Tackled a mountain lion back when I was in my late 20s. She came out of nowhere and took down one of my new calves right before my eyes. I’d left Bessie back at the house, so I rushed her, dove, grabbed her around the neck, and rolled. At first, I had her, but then she remembered that she was a mountain lion and turned into one big old sour puss. She gashed the hell out of me as she shook free. I saved the calf though.
Violet: I had unprotected sex with a brilliant young scientist who I’d followed around campus like a love-sick puppy for weeks. Unfortunately, he turned out to be a brilliant gigantic asshole who got me pregnant and left me high and dry without a forwarding address before the babies even started showing.
Violet: What’s the supposed to mean?
Describe your dream vacation.
Harvey: A trip to Heffner’s Playboy mansion. If that old buzzard can have a 20 year old, I figure I can have two. I’ll just need to double up on the Viagra.
Violet: Hold on while I swirl some bleach around in my brain.
Harvey: I’m picturin’ me in one of those thong bikini dealies.
Violet: I’m trying not to picture you at all right now. I used to daydream about going to Tulum down in the Yucatan. The white sand and turquoise Caribbean looked like the perfect place to have a fun fling with a cabana boy. But then I had kids. Now, I’d like to be able to afford to take the kids to Disney World in Florida for a week. I’ll still take that cabana boy, though. Wink wink.
So far, what's the weirdest thing to happen in Deadwood?
Harvey: Violet Parker. She looks normal enough, well except for her wacky hair, but she’s like some human flypaper for the screwballs in town.
Violet: Really, ol’ man? That’s the best answer you could come up with? Human flypaper?
Harvey: What? It’s true. Ask Coop. At the rate you’re goin’, the Deadwood coppers are gonna to have to hire a special task force to follow you around and sweep the crazies back under the rug.
Violet: I’m not asking Detective Cooper anything. He’s like the Eye of Mordor around here, and I prefer to hide behind rocks when he’s looking for trouble.
Harvey: Coop is harmless. You just need to grab him by the ear every now and then and drag him back down here with the rest of us. You didn’t answer the lady’s question.
Violet: Weirdest thing to happen in Deadwood? I don’t know. How about that haunted slot machine in the Prairie Dog Palace with the handle that keeps pulling down on its own. That’s kind of freaky.
Harvey: That’s a lame answer.
Violet: Go sit over there.
How would you describe Doc?
Harvey: Oh, Doc is a real dreamboat. Just ask Violet.
Violet: What? Why me? I’m just his Realtor.
Harvey: He reminds me of a young Cary Grant.
Violet: No, more like Gregory Peck back in the 1940s and 50s, but with George Clooney’s easy grin and a dash of Dominic West’s frown. And when he talks, his voice has this low timbre that makes you just ... never mind. He has a really nice voice.
Harvey: Hrmpff! Just his Realtor, huh? Wipe that drool off your chin, girl.
Violet: Shut it, bucket mouth.
What's the worst rumor you've heard about yourself?
Harvey: That I’d gotten married and settled down.
Violet: That I was pregnant with twins and had to move back in with my parents—wait, that turned out to be true. Okay, how about the one about my little sister sleeping with my boyfriend behind my back and in my own bed. Oh right, that one was true, too. Next question, please.
Did I bug you guys enough?
Harvey: No, sirree. I always enjoy spending time with a pretty lady.
Violet: You were great. Ol’ man Harvey, on the other hand, is about to get his rainbow suspenders snapped.
Thanks for stopping by guys! You rock!
And a huge thank you to Ann Charles, first for writing an amazing, exciting series and second for stopping by and doing one of my most fun interviews yet!
Check out her website HERE.